Episodic gaming

Video games get a lot of flak from cribbing movies. The two producers that jump to mind quickest in this regard are Too Human's Denis Dyack and the brainchild of Metal Gear Solid Hideo Kojima. Both Dyack and Kojima have a great fondness for films, but often they fall too reliant on the grammar and structure of film.

Back in 2003 Dyack and his team over at Silicon Knights was asked to remake the classic Playstation title Metal Gear Solid for the Nintendo Gamecube. While the game featured many setbacks that made it the lesser of the two games, most notably the addition of a first person shooting perspective that reduced once challenging encounters into laughably easy sections, one of the chief complaints from story purists was the direction of the in-game cinematics.

While being technically limited, the development mind at Konami in the first Metal Gear Solid allowed for some interesting design choices in these cinematic scenes. However, many years later and an entire new console generation expanded the technological arsenal and resulted in overindulgence. Dyack and crew went wild with the cinemas, with the main protagonist jumping off of missiles and engaging in superhuman moves ripped from the movie The Matrix. Dyack may be a lover of film, but he has no sense of where to put his digital camera and lacks basic understanding of framing and editing. He is trying to emulate a medium and transfer it over into another medium to which his developmental track record is now questionable.

Kojima, on the other hand, knows his stuff. However, while a movie is roughly 2 hours in duration, a game is typically 10 to 12 hours. As a result, there is much more time to spend in cinematics. In Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, Kojima adopts a film style to his game, but because of this great time differential between 2 and 12 hours, the game's pacing drags and becomes wrought with embellishment and needless scope. What could and should have been the swan song to Solid Snake turned into a swan album, then a swan opera, and then the entire musical history of Mozart.

What I propose to these individuals and others who believe video games should become more like film is to instead adopt the style of television. Over the last week, I watched the entire series The Wire, which was 5 seasons consisting of about 12 1-hour episodes a season. While this is still much longer than a game, one season of a series could translate into a game. This would allow a much better pacing for a game as well as the ability for directors with lengthy tales to tell (Kojima). This shouldn't be confused with the idea of episodic gaming, which consists of games being released in small chunks of about 2 hours, resulting in a full game being broken into and distributed over months. Instead, allow the store to be compartmentalized within the game such that it feels complete and not rushed. As much as I dislike Japanese Role Playing Games (JRPG), they sometimes do this quite well, and in particular, despite its many flaws, Final Fantasy VIII.

Gangs of television

It's always fun watching some movies on cable television. The first two times I remember noticing the difference with a television-safe broadcast was with Independence Day and Die Hard. With Independence Day, Randy Quaid should say "Alright, you alien assholes" but on television he says "Alright, you alien animals". The problem is that there's an extra syllable, and in order to get this line to sync with the scene, they had to speed it up, and the way the mouth moves on "asshole" with the sound of "animal" struck me as particularly funny as a kid. Die Hard's edit was for nudity. There's a scene right when the terrorists first seize control of the building and the party, and a girl is dragged by the arm shirtless through a hallway. On television, there's a quick zoom in to avoid seeing the exposed breasts, and as a result most of the shot is just of an empty hall being panned and scanned. Of course, there's many other examples of this, and these two certainly aren't the more famous examples of edits (see Goodfellas), but they are distinctly in my mind.

Watching Gangs of New York this afternoon on AMC is just as fun. For whatever reason, it's acceptable to say the word "nigger", but not "fuck". And, I was sure my favorite line wasn't going to be in the film, but there it was, with Bill draped in the flag, for all to hear: "your mouth all glued up with cummy juice?" There's also the issue of nudity, because before that scene is one set in a brothel where many of the women are either topless or so loosely clothed that they expose themselves when bending over. Rather than try to cut around this like with my Die Hard example or by pixelating or blocking the nudity, the television network decided to maskover the nudity with a flesh-tonned blur that made it appear, strangely, to just be a breast with no nipple. So odd.

But, the most striking thing I noticed is that this movie could have been amazing if it wasn't for the casting. DiCaprio is too much of a lightweight to be continually paired up with Scorsese. He was fine in Aviator and theDeparted, but he's no DeNiro. Then, there's Cameron Diaz who shouldn't have even been allowed on the set. It's not that she is a bad actress, but her talents aren't suited for a role like hers in this movie. I even have issues with Brendan Gleeson and John C. Reilly who are both usually more than serviceable. Really, it's Daniel Day Lewis' show.

Watching the movie, it makes me cringe what might have happened if Taxi Driver was made today. How much pressure would there have been on Scorsese to make the love story between Travis and Betsy? Cybill Shepherd was already the weak link in that movie. Oh, how the world would have been in Scorsese made Gangs of New York when he wanted to in a time with more room for experimentation from auteurs.

Hurts like a motherfucker

The Office is becoming a car crash that your have to stare at because your boss is making you.

What the hell is going on with the Office? People complained right after the mishandled baby episode that the tracks were coming off the rail, but now things are skidding into the side of a mountain. Perhaps Yucca Mountain filled with nuclear weapons and a bunch of pissed off Indians. The most recent episode, Michael’s Last Dundies, was a mess.

Holly was a great edition to the show. She provided a great romantic counterpart to Michael after his disastrous relationships with several women. If the show runners kept having Michael strike out with women without finding any happiness, it would be like kicking a puppy repeatedly without letting it lick your face just once. Since everyone loves puppies, everyone should have loved Holly. But, msyoginism and the like brought people down. She wasn’t THAT pretty. Well, she was pretty darn adorable in The Wire back in 2003 so fuck anyone who hates her. The cute awkwardness that Holly brought to those initial episodes of the Office were refreshing and allowed Michael to develop, slowly, in the span of a season.

Then, there was his trip to Nashville where he suffered a meltdown (typical for the character but in a grander scale) when his love had moved on to another man. This two part episode was important because it showed just how necessary Holly was to Michael and to the show. In this same road trip Rashida Jones came back, but no one really cared. She was just... there. Pam didn’t really react, nor Michael (outside of his comment asking if the baby was Jim’s), and Rashida didn’t really give a damn either because she moved on to someone else. No one likes being replaced. That is, unless both people replace one another and one of them gets knocked up.

Of course, maybe this means more to people who have found their Holly but lost them to someone else or to the circumstances of life. Mine was dressed in a pink shirt and acid jeans sitting beside a pool. Mine was sleepy on a bus and rested her head against my shoulder on a 8 hour drive over night. Mine had a jean jacket. Mine had an infectious laugh.

Well, not mine.

Luckily, Holly came back. For Michael. And, he is allowed his happiness. He deserves it because even if he screws up all of the time, he’s a good person. There’s a reason why the GLBT group didn’t complain when Michael made homophobic remarks to Oscar but DID complain about that stupid Ron Howard movie.

The simple point is this: Holly is great. Not Big. Not Small. Perfect boobs. She’s like a lady baker.

So where is she? She had to leave to Colorado, I suppose, but in these final episodes of Michael, she needs to be there to remind the office WHY he is leaving. The way the show is handling it, no one cares about the characters but about the actors. Yes, Steve Carell is gone. But Michael? What is he doing? He’s hosting the last Dundies. What about the first we all saw in the series?

Episode 1 of the Second Season essentially started the show. The first 6 episodes of Season One were too similar to the British show. That is, they were much more awkward and mean. Michael, rather than being a lovable oaf was an ass.

So, what made The Dundies episode so great? Well, it firmly planted a flag that became the entire reason for the first 5 seasons of the Office. When will Pam and Jim get together? There was never a question on the “if” of their relationship, but the “when”. This is one of the great things about the show. Rather than be like Friends were there’s a constant “will they won’t they” nonsense (because everyone knew it would happen eventually), the show fess up’ed and said “YES THEY WILL GET TOGETHER WHEN WE DAMN WELL SAY THEY WILL” and let it happen organically.

Imagine how Jim felt when he saw Pam with Roy. Imagine Michael thinking of Holly

There’s one magical moment in the Dundies episode that makes it one of my favorite moments in all of television. Jim is madly taken by Pam, but he can’t do anything. She’s taken, and he’s too much of a nice guy to do anything about it. He can only watch. And, Pam, even if she might have feelings for Jim, knows she is taken and can’t hurt Roy. Star-crossed lovers.

So there they are. Sitting next to one another. And she’s drunk. And he’s not. And they love each other. And she nods her head with such a seriousness and a sweetness that seems impossible to fake. At that moment, Pam loves him, and he loves her, and it’s their moment. It’s the sweetest thing in the world. It’s their moment.

Of course, it’s a show, and it’s fake.

But, for any star-crossed lover, it’s impossible to have a dry eye.

None of this is in the new Dundie’s episode. Rather, we get an uncomfortable breakup between two characters that no one liked together and a new host who we don’t know how to feel about (he makes an employee drink soap. We are suppose to like him?).

The Dundies mean something. They used to mean something.

The Sarah Silverman Program

The Sarah Silverman Program began with a bang. Within the first six episodes that comprise the first season are moments of brilliance. The first episode had this wonderful mix of utter distaste with whimsy. Fantasies, animated technicolor dreamscapes, cheesy songs laced an already ludicrous production into the absurd. It was many things, most of all surprising, considering it came from Silverman who has a hit/miss approach to her shock comedy.

There are several highlights from this first six episodes, but one, more than any, stood out as subtle in its subversiveness. The series began in 2007 in the midst of the Presidential election. Writing and production took place during the earlier parts of the never-ending campaign when Hilary was the frontrunner and Obama was nipping at her ankles. In the episode, titled "Muffin Man", featured a story where Sarah dabbled in lesbianism. In her childlike simplicity, Sarah dresses in mannish clothing (that is, more mannish than her normal sporting of loose jeans and a t-shirt) and, ridiculously, a mustache. Despite all this (or because of), someone questions Sarah's commitment to her newfound sexuality. Sarah responds with a tone that is a verbal wink "Oh, I'm in it to win it".

I mentioned the election and I mention this moment of the series, but unless you followed the election, the connection isn't as clear. Throughout her adult political life, Hilary Clinton had to deny rumors that her marriage to Bill was a sham or that she was a closet lesbian. These are unsubstantiated, unlike the rumors of Janet Napolitano which hold considerably more merit, but the accusation always existed in the background. In the campaign, Hilary remarked, in her commitment to her own campaign, with the same line that Sarah Silverman gave in the show. In this one line that probably went unnoticed by many who watched it was a bridging, and it made my night.

Season 2 was certainly not as anarchistic as the first, but it still had its moments. My favorite episode is the one where Sarah's two friends (before they became a gay couple, I believe) fight over Tab soda. One of the friends doesn't want to try it and the other forces him to. He sarcastically says it is the greatest thing he ever tasted and they escalate a war in sarcasm over who likes Tab the most. Again, it was completely nonsensical, except I could easily see myself in the same situation arguing with my friend over the existence of Gumby for 8 hours one night until our voices became strained. It's been a while since I've spoken with my former friend, but thinking of this episode right now, I wonder what my friend is up to.

Then, the writers strike happened and ruined many things. Sure, there were benefits to the strike, such as the best episodes of the Conan O'Brien show in which he dawned a beard, but other programs were not as lucky. The writers strike delayed the Sarah Silverman program by more than a year. The quality, and the delay, were unrecoverable. Last night marks the end of the series.

Downhill tumble

What are they doing to my favorite show on television?

This last episode of the office was such a disappointment. What should have been a wonderful and magical moment like the first kiss in the office at night, or Pam being drunk at the Dundees, or even the recent wedding was squandered. Instead, the two most logical characters acted illogical and stupid. Jim and Pam are supposed to be the normals, and they confuse their own child with someone else's? This just made no sense. Michael walks in on the birth and makes a mean and gross comment. Not only is it harsher than what he normally says, but a funnier reaction would have been for him to remain silent.

I've heard many people discuss how this is the worst season of the series, but I would always defend it just for that wedding episode and the hope that the birth episode would be just as good. I stand corrected. This is the beginning of the end of the series, which now in retrospect, should have ended with Jim walking in to ask Pam out on a date.