Merlin's Cranking

Good luck, Merlin.

http://www.43folders.com/2011/04/22/cranking

It’s now become unavoidably clear to me that I’ve been doing each of these things poorly. The job, the making, the pleasing, and, yeah, the being at home. And I can’t live with that for another day. So, I’ve chosen which one has to go. At least in the way it’s worked to date. Which is to say not working.

I’ll let you guess which.

Because, that? That choosing? That’s what my book needs to be about. Not about pleasing people. Not about cranking on bullshit. Not about abandoning your priorities to write about priorities.

My book needs to be about choosing a hard thing and then living with it. Because it’s your thing.

But, that part’s gone missing for just a little too long now. Certainly not missing from my handsome and very practical rhetoric—it’s been missing from my actual life and living. In a quest to make something that has increasingly not felt like my own, I’ve unintentionally ignored by own counsel to never let your hard work fuck up the good things. Including those regular people. Including, ironically, the real work. Including any good thing the crank is supposed to be attached to.

So, I’m done fucking that up.

It’s now become unavoidably clear to me that I’ve been doing each of these things poorly. The job, the making, the pleasing, and, yeah, the being at home. And I can’t live with that for another day. So, I’ve chosen which one has to go. At least in the way it’s worked to date. Which is to say not working.I’ll let you guess which.Because, that? That choosing? That’s what my book needs to be about. Not about pleasing people. Not about cranking on bullshit. Not about abandoning your priorities to write about priorities.My book needs to be about choosing a hard thing and then living with it. Because it’s your thing.But, that part’s gone missing for just a little too long now. Certainly not missing from my handsome and very practical rhetoric—it’s been missing from my actual life and living. In a quest to make something that has increasingly not felt like my own, I’ve unintentionally ignored by own counsel to never let your hard work fuck up the good things. Including those regular people. Including, ironically, the real work. Including any good thing the crank is supposed to be attached to.So, I’m done fucking that up.